One of the things that I see in a lot of women in particular is the desire/expectation for a perfect romance. A relationship that's just so together - you want the same things, you are compassionate and considerate of each other, etc.

I think this myth encourages women to subordinate their own wants/needs to that of their partner, in the belief that their partner will reciprocate. The whole "nothing is more important to me than your happiness", "if you're happy, I'm happy" trap.

Men don't read Harlequins, so they don't realize what we are doing and what we are expecting in exchange.