GarniGal's Journal:

Happy birthday to me!

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 19:58:46 GMT

I took a little trip to celebrate my 50th birthday. I joined Mom and Dad in Portimao Portugal for a week! It's been far to long since I'd been somewhere warm, and even longer since I'd been to Europe.

Saw some castles, lots of feral cats, and lots of ocean.

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Birthday Plans

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 16:40:59 GMT

I've got a big birthday this year and finally bit the bullet and booked a vacation for that time. I'm joining my parents in Portugal for a week in March. They have an apartment for a month, and they invited us long ago, but I finally pulled the trigger this week. It's just me and them, so that will be nice. I actually fly out the evening of my birthday, so that's a bit annoying, but I'll have the previous week.

Now I just need to get the stuff together that I need. My biggest concern is making sure my phone works. I'm flying westjet to dublin and RyanAir to Faro, so I need the RyanAir app, but I"m not sure about connectivity (eSim, roaming, etc). I won't need charging stuff since Mom will take all that.

Just a bit more thinking to do!

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Reading

Sat, 10 Jan 2026 16:27:19 GMT

I'm reading a novel called The Sirens as my first book of 2026.

The instigating premise is that a young woman (first year university) sleeps with a guy in her class and eventually is convinced to send him a nude photo (a pretty big deal, as she has a devastating skin condition). He shares it with his buddies, it gets posted on TikTok, she complains, the school tells her "to think of his future!" (all normal and expected). Then she sleepwalks, enters his dorm and tries to strangle him in his sleep (totally understandable), but it freaks her out, so she runs away.

Anyway, the part that has made it stick with me is about half way through. She's finally started to read her email from the school and she's been suspended due to his complaint about her. And in parenthesis, like it's a just a throwaway thought, is the line "She's willing to bet no one told Ben to think about her future when he complained".

And oh, that line made me angry. Because of course they didn't, not just in the world of the book, but in the real world. But what would that look like if they did apply the same language to a complaint placed by a man. How shocking would that be? Why aren't we shocked when it happens to women.

All that to say the world is a sucky place and I'm willing to fight to make it change.

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Home ownership

Wed, 24 Sep 2025 13:25:34 GMT

Now that the leaves are dropping, I've discovered a wasp nest the size of my head in my front tree.

Home ownership is balls.

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LJ Idol: Week 7

Wed, 27 Aug 2025 17:10:04 GMT

Please read Toni the Great’s entry first - https://tonithegreat.dreamwidth.org/8904.html

With full dark descended, Kylie’s sense of dread intensifies. She sees glittering eyes among the trees, hears trees moving in the wind. The reality of camping as an adult differs greatly from the rose-coloured memories of her youth. She remembers laughter and the crackle of fire that drew everyone into its circle of light. She remembers card games, and running through the rain to crawl into her sleeping bag.

She didn’t bother with a fire tonight; it’s too much effort for one person already exhausted by the reality of life. She hangs lanterns around the site for light, but the white LEDs of modern camping lanterns throw harsh shadows and create an ambiance very different from what she wanted when she drove out here. She can see campfires flickering at other nearby campsites though and hear the laughter of family and friends.

When she left this morning, all she’d said was she needed to get away, to be away from all the heavy expectations. But once she arrived, she realized that the heavy expectations followed her. No, even that isn’t right. She is the one with the expectations. She is the one who thinks she has to be the best employee, the best homemaker, the best person. No one else asks that of her. They just want her happiness.

She feels a little thrill when she thinks about Jameson. The 3 dates they’d been on had been lovely; great food, fun activities, and excellent conversation. But then he’d asked her to come to his place, and she’d freaked out. This body, naked in front of someone she was developing feelings for? As much as she feels desire for his touch, she feared his disgust more.

But now? Alone in the dark, she remembers floating and swimming in the Gulf this afternoon, how her body was strong even when she was frightened.

Her body is strong. It isn’t perfect; she isn’t perfect. But she has the capacity for love, and a good man who is interested in building something with her. When she’d texted him that she had plans to go camping, he didn’t whine that he was being left alone, just said he hoped she had good weather. Told her he was thinking about her. Offered to take her out when she got home and even suggested dates and times that show how serious he is about spending time with her.

She levers herself up from her chair and moves around the camp turning off the lanterns. She’s smiling, thinking about Jameson. She grabs her phone, feeling that little thrill. Letting it make her feel confident, letting the thrill guide her fingers as she scrolls down her contacts to the Js. To his name.

“Hi Jameson. I’m sitting in the dark, thinking about you too. I’m coming home early tomorrow, and I’d love to have you come to my place for dinner. Around 6? I’m really looking forward to seeing you.”

Kylie’s laughter joins the distant laughter from other sites, and her words fade to a soft murmur as she tucks herself up in her tent to talk to someone who could be her future.

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Goodbye Lyra-cat

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 17:59:13 GMT

We bought this house in 2008. We got an amazing price as it was a foreclosure, and we moved in August. We already had 3 cats, and they were always kind of annoying to each other.

In September, we looked out the window to see a tiny calico race across the deck to hide.

So then we had 4 cats, and all the annoying disappeared. Lyra brought balance to the kitten caboodle.

We lost the older 3 between 2013 and late 2015, and got another cat in March 2016, adding my mother-in-law's cat for a few months as well when she moved into a retirement building.

Lyra was 17, and getting quite frail. I knew she wasn't long for this world, but on Thursday she fell. She was moving awkwardly and slowly after that, and went to rest in her cat bed. An hour or two later, I noticed she was breathing quite shallowly, and she died in Derek's arms just after midnight.

It was a very sad couple of days, followed by a busy weekend. I know we'll heal, but for the time being, my house is a lot quieter.

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LJ Idol - Prompt 5 Write Off

Sat, 02 Aug 2025 13:17:31 GMT

I have a project. To be honest, I have many projects, but this one seems special. Overwhelming, but special.

In 1942, my great-grandmother received a letter. By 1946, she’d received many letters from that correspondent, as had her daughters, my aunts Edith and Lillian.

The correspondent was my grandfather, Herbert Martin Garniss, and covered his years serving with the Royal Canadian Engineers in the European theatre.

Aunt Edith kept many documents related to her family. She never married and had time, space, and inclination to collect and store documents as each of her parents and siblings passed away. She instilled a love of history in me by sharing tidbits of family history, telling me about real people doing real things.

Aunt Edith was the last of her generation to die. With no children, clearing out her home fell to the nieces and nephews, and those nieces and nephews were only too pleased to pass along all the family history papers and the stacks of family photos to me.

It’s overwhelming to go through a century of accumulated history. History that sits within the great moments of the 20th century, but also is mostly disconnected from those moments, dealing as it does with the personal. I found my great-uncle’s train engineer tests and certifications - connected with a time in Canadian history when the train was the primary mode of travelling significant distance. I found my aunt’s grade school essays - written in an era of one-room schoolhouses. I found the original deed to the farm my family still owns - from a time when Britain encouraged settlement and colonization of a pre-Confederation Canada.

And I found a box of my grandfather’s letters. 6 years of letters, in a strong and confident hand that had been lost to palsy by the time I was born. Letters with a cheeky sense of humour that never disappeared until he died when I was 18. Letters providing advice to his siblings and mother from an ocean away and letters describing the war from the bottom up, from a man who volunteered “because it seemed like the right thing to do”, according to his military intake papers. But in reading his letters, he volunteers so his brothers wouldn’t. He volunteered to make sure his sister, the nurse, stayed home. He volunteered to make sure there was a steady stream of cash at home, and he volunteered because it was the right thing to do.

And thus my project - transcribe the letters into a document and have them bound into a book for my aunts and uncles, my cousins, and anyone else who is interested. At that point, I’ll donate the letters themselves to the Huron County museum, where my grandfather lived for his entire life, excluding a brief sojourn in Europe, or the national military archives.

It’s a challenging project, deciphering fading letters that are over 80 years old. It’s an interesting project, reading my grandfather’s instructions to his brother Ed on how to talk to the draft so he could stay home and farm their Uncle Will’s property. It’s an insightful project, seeing how distance meant sharing gossip simply took more time. But I do believe it is a valuable project, not just for my family, but for everyone who is living in these uncertain times.

And so, one day, there will be a book that begins:

Dear Mother -

Well, we have had a real wet day here all day, so had not a great deal to do. We were supposed to go on a route march this morning, but just went to the gym instead. Got the old kinks taken out. This afternoon I pressed my coat and tunic, and layed around. About 4 o’clock the sarg came for help to set up chairs for church but when we got there it was already done.

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LJ Idol Prompt 5: Toi toi toi

Sun, 27 Jul 2025 20:32:52 GMT

I stood well back in the wings, out of the way, out of sight. Mother hovered at the edge of the curtain, waiting for her moment to step from the darkness to the light, her soaring voice capturing the imaginations of those ensconced in red velvet seats. She was a sea of calm in the backstage. Around her buzzed the chorus, careful not to intrude on the Prima Donna’s space. Costumers and makeup fluttered about, ensuring everything was perfect so the brilliant lights would make her sparkle, despite the jewels at her throat and on her fingers being nothing but paste.

I had no part in these moments. When she was the centre of attention both backstage and on stage, there was no need for me. Lost in her role, she was confident and graceful, not needing the comfort of “break a leg”. And so I could stay at the back, enjoying the show but unneeded.

But when the lights lowered, when the costume came off, when the last of the enraptured admirers left her dressing room, Mother seemed to shrink. She hated the loud noises and bright lights of the city surrounding the opera house. She dreaded walking through the crowded streets between the safety of the theatre and the silence of our apartment. And so she relied on me, to guide and protect her from the reality that was so much more overwhelming than the lights and music of the pretend lives she presented on stage.

Her bag was packed, she was clad in her sober brown dress and sensible shoes. I had our coats, and gently placed her trembling hand in the crook of my arm to keep her close and lead her home.

I carefully led her out and locked the dressing room door. One deep breath and a toi, toi, toi for good luck, and she tucked her chin and followed me through the stage door into the harsh light of the city.

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LJ Idol Prompt 4: Figure of speech

Sun, 20 Jul 2025 21:43:02 GMT

I grew up in rural Ontario. It was a very homogenous town, where we all had the same frame of references - sports, farming, the same food and traditions.

And then I grew up and moved to the city for University.

It wasn’t even a big city, but there was certainly a variety of different perspectives, different backgrounds, different frames of reference. I learned so much, not just in class, but by being surrounded by new people. But even there, it was still southwestern Ontario - whiteness and English language ruled.

Things changed after graduation. In my career, I worked with many people for whom English is not their first language, particularly Canadian English. I’ve enjoyed that diversity, but mostly I’ve enjoyed helping define the random turns of phrase that come up in discussion without even thinking about the confusion you are creating.

In my 25 year career, I’ve been a tech writer, an editor, a trainer, a knowledge manager. The commonality is communication. With that focus, I’ve seen teams made and broken by poor or excellent communication.

“What is two-four?” “What is dart?” “What is give’r?”

It is my honour to be the person asked when language is used in unusual ways. It’s improved my own communications, not just with my colleagues, but also with my family.

We are a playful species, and our biggest game in language. We use it to connect or separate, to build or destroy. In the end, the opposable thumb and tool using may have made us capable, but language using is what made us human.

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LJ Idol Prompt 2: If it's any consolation

Sun, 29 Jun 2025 20:30:42 GMT

“If it’s any consolation,...”

I ignore the rest of the sentence, because it never is a consolation. It’s always a comparative, a distraction, a reassurance.

I don’t care if his loss was ‘worse’. I don’t care if there is an event to take my mind off it. I don’t care that you feel sorry for me.

I’m in pain. I want to wallow in it. I’m not ready for your sympathy, your understanding, your attempt to divert my attention.

I’ve lost a lot in my time on earth. Some things are missed but replaceable, while others are an ongoing ache. Not constant; humanity isn’t made for constant pain. I’ve laughed at more than my share of funerals because life is absurd. I laughed when the car alarm on the pall bearer’s car went off as we were filing out of the funeral home; I laughed when the minister asked about music for my utterly tone-deaf grandmother. I laughed when my father put on two different shoes for a funeral and didn’t realize it until we arrived. I laughed when the minister sounded like a monster truck announcer.

At first, the laughter hurts as much as the tears. ‘This is the first thing I’ve laughed at I can’t share with her.’ The guilt of continuing is as painful as the loss itself. But even on the day of the funeral, you find pleasure in the sandwiches and the platters of squares. You find peace in the people around you, the place where you’ve stood awkwardly facing their losses with them.

Because humanity is not made for constant pain. Humanity is not made for constant joy. Humanity’s very inconstancy is what helps us survive and helps us progress. It helps us deal with the losses and the joys to come.

This pain will be overshadowed by other losses, other pains, other joys and other sorrows. Not forgotten, but churned together with the vast range of emotions that make up a human life.

So do not be consoled. Wallow in the pain, shiver through the joys. Remember it. Remember those you love and miss, and enjoy those you love and have. Speak of your miseries and your triumphs.

And when those around you suffer a loss, do not console. There is no comfort to be had in these moments. Acknowledge the pain, as you will acknowledge future joys.

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LJ Idol Prompt 1: Quality

Sat, 21 Jun 2025 15:27:27 GMT

“The quality of mercy is not strained;

It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven

Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest;

It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.”

I learned that speech at 14 years old. I was a little nerd, in a rural school, who loved to read and imagine that I knew more than the average 14 year old. The first four lines are all I remember now, but I still imagine I’m better than the average person when I drop it into conversation, casually mentioning that I learned that in grade 8.

I can explain the meaning of the words, despite the floridity of the language. I can tell you how it impacts the story, these words coming from a female character with so little power to change her destiny that she relies on wordplay to avoid marrying arrogant assholes who want her money and the power her connections provide. How she steals power by dressing as a man and using the intelligence that she always had to change fate and manipulate the law. I can even tell you how the audience reacts when she launches into the speech, us knowing that the other characters don’t know who she is, don’t know why she’s doing this, don’t know why she cares about mercy.

I can’t tell you how to be merciful. It’s not a characteristic I’ve spent much time developing. I hold grudges; I remember slights against me or against those I care about, and I will never forgive that. I am selfish; I focus on my own needs and that of my family and friends first, only considering others once our needs are satisfied. I get angry when I’m ashamed or embarrassed, trying to blame my mistakes on poor communication or limited options.

In the end though, it isn’t mercy that saves Antonio from sacrificing a pound of flesh, it isn’t heaven or kindness or compassion or second thoughts that save him. It isn’t even a flowery speech.

It’s holding grudges, it’s selfishness, it’s anger. It’s logic, in the form of a woman hidden under men’s clothing choosing to help her family and friends first, leveraging poor communication to twist the rules to suit herself.

In the end, the quality of mercy is a beautiful speech that does nothing to evoke mercy in the heart of the characters. In the end, Antonio is saved through wordplay, and everyone lives happily ever after, secure in having money and power and not needing the blessings that mercy offers.

Everyone except Shylock, who in the name of mercy is forced to give up his wealth, his religion, his daughter. In the end, mercy is a punishment and blesses no one.

Quality

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Thu, 19 Jun 2025 14:10:16 GMT

Two weeks ago, with the pool open and blue and clear and easy, I told Gen we could do an end of school pool party on the 26th.

On Monday the pool turned green.

I have a week to put in all the chemicals and hope I can get it blue again.

Pray for me.

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LJ Idol Signup

Thu, 12 Jun 2025 16:29:55 GMT

Pursuant to section 0 of the official LJ Idol: Wheel of Chaos rules, I declare that:
- I intend to participate to to best of my abilities
- I understand that there is nothing but bragging rights and effort involved
- Yes, I know I did sweet #@% all last time I signed up, but I'm trying again dammnit

Agreed upon by A.G.G (Garnigal) on the Twelfth of June 2025.

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Television

Wed, 22 Jan 2025 20:22:21 GMT

I don't like binging TV. I want to wonder what's coming next, and write fic that gets shot all to hell in the next episode. A lot of my online friends came from Open on Sunday, and I still miss that prompt-based, short fic style with a specific fandom associated.

D loves binging. He hates spoilers, so he wants to get through it all asap to find out the story.

We have met in the middle, watching 1-2 episodes a night about twice a week, depending on the length of the episode. We started with Bridgerton during Covid to bond with a friend we couldn't see. We got through Sex Ed (our friend died before we finished), and we just finished S1 of Insatiable.

Holy crap that show is messy. I love it so much. Weird, raunchy, wrong on so many levels, EVERYONE needs therapy or potentially prison. I haven't started reading the fic yet, but I"m sure it's coming.

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Happy New Year!

Thu, 02 Jan 2025 20:54:04 GMT

While I've been on my phone regularly, I turned off my computers on Dec 20 when work ended and didn't turn them on again until today. Instead I read, chatted with Derek and Gen and the rest of the family, and ate all the things.

I'm back to work on Monday, feeling much more rested, and ready to approach a new year!

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Animal House

Thu, 10 Oct 2024 17:11:12 GMT

I"m trying hard to work, but the cat will not sit anywhere except between me and the computer. She's a cat - how is she awake this long?!?

Update: Now she's licking my mouse. I can't work in these conditions!

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Work Drama - Not Me!

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 19:51:46 GMT

My coworker was let go today. She'd been with the company for about a year, and I actually got a hiring bonus for her because I referred her.

She'd gotten Covid a few weeks ago, and the illness/malaise/brain fog resulted in a terrible job drafting a file, leading to her team lead and manager rewriting it until midnight that day. Definitely not great. She'd had appointments that led to her work messaging looking like she was away for 3 hours, there was another file that wasn't good and required substantial rewrites, she left the office at 3:30 because she lives in a different city and was trying to avoid traffic at one end of her commute or the other... just a lot of small stuff that led to being reprimanded.

She chose to argue parts of the reprimand, and that led to a meeting today in which she got fired.

I think, and I told her this, that it's more about the fact that we aren't going to hit our revenue target for the second year in a row, and they are looking for ways to cut operating costs. Nevertheless, it's shitty for morale, and leaves the rest of us looking over our shoulders. That said, the company revenue cracked a billion dollars last year, and it seems pretty shitty to punish us for an unreachable goal set in HQ by people who have no idea how the grants landscape in Canada works.

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LJ-Idol

Mon, 15 Jul 2024 12:23:25 GMT

So far I've failed to write twice, I'm just so tired that I don't even check what the prompts are.

I think this may not be my time.

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Fic Recs

Tue, 25 Jun 2024 15:31:10 GMT

I've been struggling to find new (or old) fic that is engaging and inspiring.

My fandoms are:
Buffy/Angel
Firefly/Serenity
Harry Potter
Leverage
Sex Education
Stranger Things
CSI
NCIS
Stargate
Stargate Atlantis
Valdemar (book series)
Dawson's Creek
The OC

That said, I'm willing to try new fandoms too!

Any suggestions?

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LJ Idol

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 19:00:16 GMT

I'm gonna do the thing. I'm super curious if 2 years of non-stop grant writing (basically business fan-fiction) has changed my other writing.

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New Car!

Thu, 02 Nov 2023 14:55:57 GMT

Derek got a new (to us) car as the Subaru we got when VV was on the way is on its last legs. He specifically wanted an EV, and after a week of test driving, he chose a 2021 Kia Niro. It was about $45K all in, and on day nine of ownership, he hit a deer. Fortunately it still operates fine, but it's not as pretty as it was last week.

She's headed to the body shop next week to get all pretty again, but it's such the story of our lives - get ahead a bit, and then WHAM.

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Take me to church

Mon, 02 Oct 2023 18:59:01 GMT

I went up to my hometown last weekend as we were decommissioning the rural church I grew up in. The building was packed to the gills with people home to say goodbye, prompting the minister (who is a useless tool) to start his spiel by saying "It's lovely to see the building full - where have you all been?"

Passive aggressive twat.

He also used it as an opportunity to 'invite' us to his home congregation. He was supposed to be the minister for both pastoral charges, but according to the locals, the biggest reason the church is closing now rather than in 2025 is they can't stand Rev Colin and they are all looking for churches that he's not at. So he won't be getting the sudden boost in congregation he's been counting on.

Poor muffin.

It's a little sad - my dad, myself and brother, 3 of my cousins, all of my nieces were all baptized there, Adam, Cheryl and I were confirmed there, we played murder in the sanctuary during Youth Group - but at the same time, it was the right choice. We've all adopted the "cult of secularism" (direct quote from the service) and like it that way, thanks.

That said, it was a nice meal, I didn't get struck by lightning, and the church is being purchased by a local Mennonite congregation.

After that I went out to see all the changes at my brother's - they are getting into chickens, so they had a massive new barn with all the latest tech built behind the old bank barn. 18K baby birds in a week and a day. Crazy change.

We also hung out next door at my aunt and uncle's for dinner, and all the girls played together nicely. The only boy had hockey - I don't think he regretted missing the family time with 5 girls at all.

I've also been doing genealogy. I'll have many more stories as I get further into the history, but so far I"m pretty sure my great grandfather got his first wife pregnant before marriage and they moved to Michigan to hide the fact. Can't figure out why she's buried in North Dakota instead of Ontario though.

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Vacation!

Tue, 28 Mar 2023 18:11:44 GMT

We just got back from a long, lovely family vacation. 10 of us went to Hawaii for just over 2 weeks, including my brother, sister-in-law, nieces, parents, and of course the 3 of us.

Great weather, lots of amazing things to see. Some challenges with too much togetherness, but we all survived, though some of us were injured.

Specifically Dad. Oh Dad. Mom and Dad went to Maui a week before we all met up on the big island, and as Mom met us at the airport she said "I'm so glad you're here; your father sprained his ankle."

Friends, my father did not sprain his ankle. My father broke his damn leg one week into a three week vacation in a foreign country.

The next morning I drove them to the hospital, where Dad got X-rays and his leg wrapped up. They tried to give him oxy, but that was a little hard core for my parents. He did take the crutches though. Fortunately they got insurance, so they didn't have to pay out of pocket - yet - but we are all curious what the bill will come to.

End result was Dad spent a lot of time reading in the house we rented. Mom was a little on edge, trying to figure out how to include him, but also trying not to ruin our vacation, with the result of being a little wound up, getting on Derek's nerves.

However, we did all survive, I enjoyed driving in Hawaii, and Dad saw the orthopaedic surgeon today.

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2022/2023

Fri, 06 Jan 2023 14:07:38 GMT

We had a very quiet holiday. I turned my computers off on the 23rd and didn't turn them on again until Jan 3.

Our plans got changed due to the snow storm. According to D's brother, "Toronto is fine, why won't you come to Christmas eve as ususal?" Meanwhile, every road around us was closed. We're 100km away dude. Looking out your window does not tell you what it's like in Guelph. We haven't seen them yet, as they were headed to Quebec after the Christmas weekend.

My family also postponed from Sat until Tuesday. Roads in Huron Co were closed right up until Tues morning, but our drive was fine. Had a great time, left the kid, went home. :)

New Years was with the usual suspects at our friends' place in Listowel. We are calling it Old Person New Year's Eve now - no one drank, we just watched movies and played board games.

Back at work, and almost through the first week of 2023. I'm focusing on Care, Patience and Mindfulness for this year, with some goals I hope to achieve and some things to keep in mind. We hope to get our office redone early this year, but there's a lot of clean up that needs to happen first.

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House of Plague

Mon, 25 Apr 2022 13:33:09 GMT

We got Covid. It sucks. The end.

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