Trusting Your Instincts

[garnigal]

Bitch PhD posted a link to a woman who wrote about her experience with a possessive stalker ex. I've posted the link here as well.

http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/2006/06/really-good-read.html

Most people have some experience with unstable unpredictable people, even if it's second hand or through something they read. Unfortunately, many people have been in an uncomfortable, potentially dangerous situation and don't know how to remove themselves or don't trust their instincts enough to remove themselves.

As important as it is to read C.L. Hanson's tale of the stalking, I think it is just as important to read what Bitch PhD has to say about it. Her comments on the situation are all about trust and social conventions and ignoring social conventions for your own well-being. This is something I belive in strongly.

I've never been in a situation where someone is holding me hostage, but I have considered what I would do in that situation. And the answer is always - I would fight. I would fight to for my life, I would hurt, maim, even kill my attacker to save myself. This is true if it is a stranger on a dark street or an aquaintance who doesn't respect my physical boundries.

I encourage everyone who reads this post to consider what you would do in various dangerous situations. I hope no one I know is ever faced with making such a choice, but if you are, I want you to have a plan. Think now about what you would do, so you don't have to think about it in the moment.

The moment is time to act. Now is time to think.

Comments

[sandraregina.livejournal.com]

There is this line in the Bitch's post: "But most "advice" to women focuses on avoiding *situations*, rather than trusting yourself and avoiding *people* who make you feel uneasy. I think that's exactly backwards."

I completely agree with this. I have walked alone at night, often, and felt perfectly safe because I was alone or the people around were people I could deal with. I have also completely avoided certain streets in broad daylight because the people there made me feel uncomfortable.

So far I've been fortunate in that I've never been stalked. I was harassed a lot in school, and I got very good at feeling it coming and getting away. I try very hard not to react to people based solely on how they look (ie by race or piercings or tatoos or ratty clothes), but when I'm alone I do pay attention to people and the 'vibe' they give off, and get the hell out of Dodge as quickly as possible if they make me uncomfortable. Even if they are in a business suit.