Spectacular Baby Boners

One of the blogs I read is http://www.alittlepregnant.com/. The most recent entry is about the things you've done or forgotten to do when you were with your kids that led to your heart stopping from the panic. So many funny stories.

I have one that I can guarantee no one else has ever done (and for a wonder, I don't think I've told this story to most of my friends!)

I was about 4 and I loved to go to the barn with Dad. I'd play while Dad milked the cows. One day I woke up with terrible marks on my face. My mother freaked - whe figured I'd gotten into some kind of poison or parasite at the barn. By lucky chance, my aunt was home from Toronto, where she was a nurse. Mom asked Mary Edith to take a look at me. ME took one look, bent down and said, "Ann, have you been playing with the milking machine?"

I'd stuck the milker to my face and given myself perfectly round bruises all over. The milker was like a vacuum, except in addition to the suction, it also squeezes - can you imagine the bruises on my white, white skin?

Sadly, I can't blame my mother for this - it was all me!

For the record, I haven't used the word "boner" since elementary school. I just like alliteration.