LJIdol Week 12 - Home (based on the prompt salty)

[garnigal]

Based on The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

They played for our souls, Death and Life-in-Death. Diced and paid us no mind. We were as nothing to them. When we play at dice, we care for our stakes, worry lest we lose too much. But our souls, though dear to us, were as nothing to Death and Life-in-Death. And so we watched, adrift in becalmed seas.

We’d spent the weeks prior tormenting one of our number for the death of the albatross, spent the days on our knees, praying for salvation. And now there was nothing to do but wait, and watch the game.

We none of us wanted to die. But they played on, and one by one we dropped, as Death won each soul. Each soul but one. The last life went to Life-in-Death, and only as we died, as we watched him not dying did we realize our escape. For in death there is freedom, in death there is salvation.

In Life-in-Death, there is nought but wandering and grief.

And so I cry salty tears for the mariner, enough to keep the seas lapping at the shore, enough to keep the tides flowing, and enough to one day lead him Home.

Comments

[trepkos.livejournal.com]

That's very thought-provoking!

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[jerusha]

This was really lovely.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I really appreciate your comments!

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

This was an interesting take. I had to google the poem to get the entire gist. Loved the last line here.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reading and for doing the extra work. :)

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

I liked the poetic feeling to this, and the abstraction of the ideas. Even without the ties to the poem, this is very clear, and the wording at the end is lovely.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

I thought about leaving the reference out, but figured it was good habits to attribute. :)

Thanks for reading.

[snogged.livejournal.com]

Wow.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

[rayaso.livejournal.com]

What a great idea! I was surprised to see that poem being used as inspiration, since Coleridge has been out of fashion for a while now, and you wrote a wonderful conclusion.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

The trials of being a former English major - everything you learned is old!

Thanks for reading.

[rayaso.livejournal.com]

There's no such thing as a "former" English major. It's a life-long pursuit and we get to keep on reading.

[mamas-minion.livejournal.com]

Very beautiful prose.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[penpusher.livejournal.com]

Telling and unique take on Coleridge's best known work... and true that death, in that situation, is escape, while living and having to tell the tale makes it a constant. Even now, that Ancient Mariner still exists, still shot the albatross and is still paying the price of his actions and will yet be, centuries in the future.

[murielle.livejournal.com]

This is so sad. Exquisitely written, but sad. Sad for the dying. Sad for the one mariner.