Puppet Drabbles
Sep. 26th, 2006 10:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
garnigalCross-posted to Open On Sunday.
Cut Strings
“Now that is bad hair. Really, slaying you will make the world a prettier place.” Buffy faked a kick to draw out her colourful opponent, hoping to gauge it’s strengths and weaknesses. It was a wise tactic; the thing moved faster than expected. Unfortunately, it hadn’t given consideration to the full effects of dyeing it’s entire body all the colours of the Gay Pride parade – Buffy tracked it easily and threw a spin-hook at it’s head, temporarily stunning it. It roared and flailed, but Buffy was faster – a blade flashed and it collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut.
Puppetmasters
Buffy was in control. She is the Slayer; all the things that go bump in the night fear her name.
Giles was in control. He’s the Watcher; the strongest, most important girl in the world looks to him for direction and guidance.
Travers was in control. He’s the head of the Council of Watchers; the most educated and intelligent men and women in the world follow his instructions.
The Powers that Be are in control. They are beyond human, demon, Slayer, Watcher and Council understanding. They are ignored while the world turns around them.
But they are pulling the strings.
Cut Strings
“Now that is bad hair. Really, slaying you will make the world a prettier place.” Buffy faked a kick to draw out her colourful opponent, hoping to gauge it’s strengths and weaknesses. It was a wise tactic; the thing moved faster than expected. Unfortunately, it hadn’t given consideration to the full effects of dyeing it’s entire body all the colours of the Gay Pride parade – Buffy tracked it easily and threw a spin-hook at it’s head, temporarily stunning it. It roared and flailed, but Buffy was faster – a blade flashed and it collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut.
Puppetmasters
Buffy was in control. She is the Slayer; all the things that go bump in the night fear her name.
Giles was in control. He’s the Watcher; the strongest, most important girl in the world looks to him for direction and guidance.
Travers was in control. He’s the head of the Council of Watchers; the most educated and intelligent men and women in the world follow his instructions.
The Powers that Be are in control. They are beyond human, demon, Slayer, Watcher and Council understanding. They are ignored while the world turns around them.
But they are pulling the strings.
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no subject
Date: 2006-09-27 12:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-27 01:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-27 02:00 pm (UTC)"Buffy faked a kick to draw out her colourful opponent, hoping to gauge it’s strengths and weaknesses."
I feel the drabbles are stronger when written in the present verb tense, so something like "Faking a kick to draw out her colorful opponent, Buffy hoped to guage it's strenghts and weaknesses".
If you start the next sentence with "Wise tactic, " instead of "It was a" you'll have more room for a colorful adjective, which you use constently through the rest of the drabble.
I would also consider a more personal pronoun than it. I would also look for a word other than "color" to use, like rainbow-hued opponent, or instead of roaring and flailing, maybe "clashed" to again emphasize the color theme.
Honestly, I think you could build a stronger descriptive theme here on "color" than on "puppet".