Scout Drabbles

[garnigal]

I'm not sure about posting this set. Any ideas on how to tighten them up?

College

All he wanted was to play basketball. He enjoyed it and he was good at
it. In fact he was great at it. They were going to the state
championship this year thanks to him.

The game was excellent. He shone on the court and he knew there were
scouts in the crowd. His chance to get out.

There was some guy in a suit waiting for him outside the dressing room.
The guy handed him a card.

"I can't promise anything, but if you live past graduation, I'll see
what I can do."

Easier said than done in Sunnydale.

Advance Scouts

He crept along, taking care where he stepped. Something wasn't right.
There was a feeling of heaviness, of something watching and waiting. He
couldn't understand it; the natives had fled already, warned by the
clattering of armour.

There was no explanation for this feeling of danger. Night birds called
in the trees and he could see animal tracks. The area was lush and
green, with plenty of fresh water. He wanted to run away.

He turned to return to camp, planning to tell the Captain that the
water source was polluted. Yellow eyes glowed, and he never got the
chance.

+++

The air was thick and humid. People scurried, focused on themselves.

His lip curled in a sneer at their obliviousness. This was the
Hellmouth; he'd been able to sense it an hour away. Ignorance truly is
bliss, he thought, watching two laughing children run by.

Well, they could parade around like so much meat, but he knew how to
defend himself. He kept a careful eye on his watch as he investigated
the school; no way he'd be caught out after sunset.

He was ready to report to the Council. A low laugh sounded, and he
never got the chance.

Comments

[scarlettlily.livejournal.com]

These were very good, maybe for the first explaining who it is would connect us with the character and same with the other two. The third gives very little indication who it is before they are eaten. But otherwise they are great.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked them and thanks for the advice. I do tend to leave things too ambiguous. I'll play with them a bit more and see if I can tighten them up.

[jerusha]

I liked these. It was a nice use of the prompt. I didn't feel terribly connected to anyone, but the last two were chilling.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Heh, all of these started around 150 words. Once I started cutting, all the personality bled out. :)