Writing Drabble

[garnigal]

This came from a conversation at WriterCon about the annoying places inspiration strikes. It certainly doesn't happen when you sit down in front of your computer!

Writing

He felt foolish standing in the checkout line surrounded by hyperactive children and harried mothers.

Even the store itself was intimidating. Parking spots were reserved for everyone except him. The racket was incredible and children ran everywhere, paying no attention to anything in their path. He wondered how their parents could keep an eye on their progeny, until he realized that the parents didn’t care about their children’s antics and bad behaviour.

Despite the unpleasant ambiance, Giles persevered. Leaving Toys ‘R’ Us with his bag clutched tight, he was satisfied. Inspiration would never catch him unprepared in the shower again.

Comments

[maevebran.livejournal.com]

Very true. Good job.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Now I've got to go get some of those shower crayons myself. Can I send someone else instead? I don't want to go to Toys R Us anymore than Giles did!

[agilebrit.livejournal.com]

Hee! Awesome. The uncontrolled children, the "NOT YOU!!!" parking spaces, the noise...ah, the things we endure for the sake of our art.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

I love kids, but Toys R Us is too much. I can only imagine Giles reaction - he has enough trouble with teenagers!

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

i know Giles' frustration both at the store and at writing frustrations. Well done

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked. And dear god, may I steal your icon? *drools*

[cornerofmadness.livejournal.com]

Mustang is shareable. He's done by another_icon_lj

[scarlettlily.livejournal.com]

Hahaha this was too cute. I had never heard of shower crayons before.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

I was afraid of that. I didn't want to spell it out - that would give away the punchline, but I think it needs to be more explicit. Glad you liked it anyway.

[spuffyduds.livejournal.com]

Heee! Shower crayons. What will Olivia think?

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

I never even thought of that. She'd probably come up with some kinky idea in her head...

I know I just did.

[lilachigh.livejournal.com]

I’d never heard of shower crayons so started out confused, then realised and laughed out loud which is always good! Friended you. Hope this is OK?

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Of course friending me is great! The more the merrier. I'll friend you back.

Thanks so much for reading.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Yeah, except now I've scared myself into staying away from Toys R Us! I'm glad the Giles came through - it doesn't quite feel right to me. Meh, I think I'm better at angst than humour.

[whatawookie.livejournal.com]

Two things
1) How are we supposed to know he's buying shower crayons, because I was just plain confused why he was in Toys'R'Us.
2) Are you looking for edits?
Last sentence, second paragraph I feel should end with "until he realized that they simply weren't."
Given that this is Giles, you could bump change "harried" mothers with something more Rolling-Stone-ish, playing up the in attention/numbness of the parents. To me, the word harried implies that they are paying attention, and we nix that in the second paragraph.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

I was afraid the shower crayons thing was too subtle. But I didn't want to give away the punchline. I'll have to play with it a bit more.

And I like your suggestion for the end of the second paragraph (plus it gives me more words to play with!)

I kind of equate harried more with hurried and the lack of attention that implies, but that could totally be my own connotation. I'll have to look it up. I liked the British snobbery implicit in harried as well. I'll email you a new version when I incorporate all your suggestions!

[married-n-mich.livejournal.com]

Look at all the writing going on. Good writing going on. Great drabble!

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

I came back really wanting to write. I haven't actually done much other than this drabble yet, but I'm going to try and do something everyday (unless something fun happens).

I need something that gives me some nice angst to write about. I do much better with angst

[married-n-mich.livejournal.com]

I'm all ready to write too, but I don't know what to write.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

You could always issue an "I'm bored" to your flist again :)

[married-n-mich.livejournal.com]

Or not!

I'm back at work today, I could be wrong, I think I'm having chocolate withdrawal.

Oh!

And I have a pen that lights up. I guess it came out of your car. Hubby had almost sucked it up in the vacuum cleaner or something.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Mmmm, chocolate.

Hee. Derek loves that pen - but he probably won't even notice it's gone!

[married-n-mich.livejournal.com]

I'll never tell.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

How fangirl am I that I can't hear that line without hearing Anya and Xander in my head?

[married-n-mich.livejournal.com]

How much of a fangirl am I when I couldn't type that line without hearing Anya and Xander in my head?

:o)

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

I just found out that my neighbours cat is named Buffy. I think she and I have some fangirl bonding to do.

[married-n-mich.livejournal.com]

Um, yeah.

The hubby yelled at the big black dog last night. Instead of yelling, "Buddy!" He yelled, "Buffy!"

*Snort*

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Hee! Someone's been reading your mind, I think.

[married-n-mich.livejournal.com]

I couldn't harass him too bad since I've been known to do it on occasion myself.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

What you've done in the past bears no relation on what you choose to hassle hubby about, no matter what he says.

[married-n-mich.livejournal.com]

Good point!

[g2m.livejournal.com]

Fun!! Giles is seriously out of his element here. I'm sure he'd rather be facing demons - actually on some level maybe he was! Nice job!

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Hee! Little bitty bite loud demons with very bad manners. That says Toys R Us to me.

[a2zmom.livejournal.com]

Obviously, a true writer will suffer anything. Very cute.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Plus, I got to imagine Giles wet and naked.

[redrikki.livejournal.com]

Great Giles voice.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I felt it was a little out of character, but it sure was fun!

[spiralleds.livejournal.com]

Clearly my mind is still in the WriterCon gutter, as my first thought was Mmm, just what would Giles like to have in the shower... Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Of course once I reminded myself to think of the prompt, it all fell into place.

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Yeah, thinking of Giles in the shower was the high point for me too!

[alwaysjbj.livejournal.com]

Yes, the shower! It is always the shower. Or just as you are falling asleep and you are too sleepy to write it down.

I followed you over from ficconcrit. Would you mind if I friended you?

[garnigal.livejournal.com]

Of course friend me! The more the merrier! And I'll friend you right back.